When i met You, i never imagined who i was about to become.
At that time in my life, i didn’t know who i was or where i
was going, i just knew my life was not what it should be. Little did i know when You noticed me that
first night, just where my journey would take me.You asked me, “Are you a slave?” At first i probably said yes, but then there was a time when i couldn’t give You an answer, i’d just begun to comprehend what it actually meant to be slave and i was confused by where i’d been in my life and who i was. You made me want to understand though. You spent time with me and You gave me the opportunity to please You. You showed me the kind of man You are. We disagreed, more than once, but when You told me to act accordingly i did because I wanted to make You happy.
When You first said to me, and just about every girl who
came into the chat room, “There’s only one rule you need to follow, shut the
fuck up and do what your told eagerly, cheerfully, gratefully, without
hesitation, question, failure or complaint.”
i knew those words were meant for me. i already felt they were a part of who i was,
and though i sometimes struggle with the rule, You never expect less of
me.
You don’t cut me any slack, You hold me accountable, You make
me know i’m a woman who is meant to serve, and despite the frustration,
annoyance and aggravation i cause You, You don’t give me any option but one,
which is to be Your slave, totally and completely.
You’ve said to me, “a slave needs a Master,” You’ve said to
me “here is your opportunity,” You’ve said to me, “you have six weeks.” And, finally, after so many moments of doubt
and anxiety, i have begun to register how this is going to happen, how it’s
going to work and how i will become Yours.
It’s not been an easy journey, i’ve struggled and fought You almost
every inch of the way, both craving what You offer, longing to be in Your presence,
learning and coming to know the others who are a part of Your life, yet
fighting the actual giving up of my freedom and the safe life i have, fearful
of failure, afraid to let go, terrified of finally being controlled, owned, subject
to Your domination over my life.
With determination You’ve finally made me understand and
accept the direction we are going. Oh, i’ve
known all along where i belong, and i’ve known that it will be for forever, but
the challenges and tasks to get to You have felt daunting to me. You have however finally made me realize that
what is important is not what holds me here, rather, beginning my journey with
You as my Owner, my Master, my Sir, being allowed the privilege of joining Your
home, Your family, Your life, is something that I am grateful for and will
forever cherish as a gift, an opportunity to serve and to belong.
