So lately I've been visiting online places outside of the whole BDSM and ab/dl world. I feel like I'm all caught up in something that I'm not living, and having been away so long, I don't even know if I want to live it anymore. It's hard to imagine a relationship that isn't D/s or M/s or D/lg, but, then again I've been living without it for such a long time now...it's making me question who or what I want in a relationship.
I can tell you from my experience though, D/s people are much more honest, more real, more confident in the relationships. I was talking on a meeting site to someone local and it was going pretty well for a few days, nice normal vanilla conversation, we hadn't delved into anything too deep yet, but everything did seem to be leading to a first meet. But then he noted some kinky stuff in my profile question answers (which by the way do not match up with his own) and despite the several messages discouraging his awkward advances, and explaining to him about where I'm coming from -- he's all caught up in the "sexual" stuff now. His second to last email said "I want to taste you" I didn't respond....His last email said "I don't want to scare you away."..............................Ha!

While I'm absolutely looking forward to sex with someone other than my hitachi....I'm not easy, fast or cheap. The vanilla dudes seem to interpret "varied sexual interests" or "enjoys someone else taking charge" as a girl, who after a perfunctory email or two, can't get on their knees fast enough to be their cock sucking cum slut.
Maybe I am old fashioned, but that's not what I want anymore. I want a relationship that's about life, and I'll say it again....
sex is not how to live and love in a relationship, sex is just the cherry on top!