“Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great purpose in heart.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Another Day

i just spent another day of struggling to get things completed at work.  my boss has finally said, "I need a report from you by Monday."  i have every desire to get it done for her but i'm pretty burned out, and there just isn't time to get it done at work.  Tomorrow i'm going to recruit a couple people to help but not sure if that will make things easier or more complicated.

i have been working every minute on this stuff from the time i come home until going to bed for 3 weeks now.  i have chores left undone and it's making me very stressed.  Now i have the headache from hell to go with it.

This afternoon while driving i was thinking about how i used to go home after work and take care of my ex Dom.  i was thinking about how this would have been one of those days when i would of asked if we could go out to dinner, i just didn't have much left to give tonight.  And then when my Sir got off work and called W/we somehow got into a conversation about expectations about a couple of things like dishes.  i somehow let the frustration of the day/week get tied up in to how i responded to Him.  Now i think i'm getting a lecture in the morning.  Which i deserve.  i wanted to be warm and submissive, but instead my comments took on a cutting attempt at humor which made no sense for a true submissive and only caused my Sir frustration and me to feel inadequate. 

It's not like i haven't done this before, i know how to let go and submit, yet i wasn't being very submissive tonight.  i also know how to not let work impact my personal life...but i sure didn't show it tonight.  Ugh...

i think it's a protection thing right now...if i let go....submit totally....at this point i might just break and i can't afford a moment of weakness at least not until the weekend arrives.
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Quiz Results: What kind of Little are you?

What kind of Little are you?
Your Result: Princess
 

You are Daddy's little Princess!!!!! Your daddy adores you and spoils you rotten, because you melt him everytime you walk (or crawl) :) into the room!

Angel
 
Brat
 
Schoolgirl
 
Pumpkin
 
What kind of Little are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Stole this fun little quiz from a friends profile on Fetlife

It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominant person wouldn't be a bad idea.

Submissive
100%
Experimental
71%
Masochist
71%
Degradation Lover
64%
Bondage
64%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
61%
Switch
39%
Sadist
21%
Vanilla
14%
Dominant
4%
http://quizfarm.com/run.php/QuizRunner

Flash Clocks, Hearts Clocks at WishAFriend.com

Daddy Doms by kendra

It had been a while since i'd last read the following article. Many people ask me about bdsm and why i enjoy it...not understanding my desire to be with a Dominant. It is hard to put into words exactly what it's about ... but this article does a wonderful job of explaining it.Daddy/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. In my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy *s*) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman.He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals. Daddy Dom is a feeling, an environment that two people have created. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides.So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom?A Daddy Dom wants to be the center of your universe. He wants to be able to provide for your every need and care. But more than that he wants to be able to shape and mold you to the image he thinks you should become. He sees in you someone who can achieve a much higher, much greater status. He believes more in you than you believe in yourself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of you, the image he has created. To achieve these goals he relies on a combination of love, respect, and discipline.His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it’s value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him.He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises.If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength todo what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn’t matter. To him she is beautiful.Daddy Dom and sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many little girls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship.I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive’s life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it’s participants crave.There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.This article may only be reprinted on private, no fee to access websites as long as this notice accompanies it and the following link is in place: http://www.subspace.cc/