“Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great purpose in heart.” ― Gordon B. Hinckley

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Women



Tonight i find myself contemplating what i find attractive in a woman.  Actually more specifically, in the women i've been attracted to, turned on by, drawn to...what is it that caused me to catch my breath, to consciously say to myself, "no, no, you are looking for something else."

Years and years and years ago there was a Mommy, a Dominant woman who used to tell me bedtime stories in DPF.  Late in the evening when there were few people still online, when the only regular ab girls in the ab/dl lifestyles rooms were basically me and two other girls named Little Kimmy, and Baby Ayanna, i would read her words glassy eyed and yawning as she typed babyish tales that made me want to curl in her lap and fall asleep, safe and cozy.  She was never mine, but that she endulged me in such a parental way i think opened the door for what was to come.

Several years later my heart, along with the hearts of several others, was stolen by a Woman who i longed to meet in person, and who i only knew for too short a time before she was gone.  Strict Mommy Kate made  us laugh and cry and feel so special with her attention and sweet, funny nature.  So many times i virtually donned my minature leather jacket, mimicing Mommy as she roleplayed in the DPF room.  Privately we had many a conversation as women our age who shared so many commonalities are able.  Feeling her pain in those last days before she wasn't able to return online, and then finally, despite the peace i know that came to her when she passed, i cried at the loss of a very special presence in my life.  She was my first taste of D/s and bdsm, she awakened that in me.

Over the years there have only been a few special women who i've found myself attracted to. 

Growing up, i always wondered what it would be like to kiss my best friend, when we hit college she became such a sex kitten i couldn't help myself, i always wondered if she had the same thoughts.  But as i was prolly the most sexually repressed firecracker waiting to be lit, i of course never made any moves towards her. 

In most cases, the women i am attracted to tend to have a more "masculine" style.  i watched the "L Word" religiously for it's last two seasons and fell in lust totally with Shane.

There is a very masculine Daddi on fetlife who also makes me swoon a bit. 

Currently there is also a woman at work that i've been attracted to for a while and our relationship has become pretty flirtatious the last year or two, we've never taken it to the next step though we've flirted with the idea.  Fortunately one of us has always been too sober to allow for that to happen.  i've never considered any woman as seriously as i've considered her, however, the negative consequences of what  acting on those flirtations might bring about weigh heavily on my decision to not take it to the next step.
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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousSunday, October 09, 2011

    I find that the feelings that you are experiencing about your friend/coworkker are shared by many of us with the special ppl we find in life. She has demonstrated sincere caring and love for you as you both grown together in the work place and chose to become friends. We are friends with ppl because we find them appealing to be with, it is emotional. I too have felt "love" for my guy friends to different degrees. Through my adult life I fell in love with a few friends of mine but did not pursue them for fear of if rejection and worse if they were offended by my feelings. It is ok to feel the way you feel. However it works out is another thing, it is nice to feel love...

    dprluvr

    ReplyDelete

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Quiz Results: What kind of Little are you?

What kind of Little are you?
Your Result: Princess
 

You are Daddy's little Princess!!!!! Your daddy adores you and spoils you rotten, because you melt him everytime you walk (or crawl) :) into the room!

Angel
 
Brat
 
Schoolgirl
 
Pumpkin
 
What kind of Little are you?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Stole this fun little quiz from a friends profile on Fetlife

It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominant person wouldn't be a bad idea.

Submissive
100%
Experimental
71%
Masochist
71%
Degradation Lover
64%
Bondage
64%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
61%
Switch
39%
Sadist
21%
Vanilla
14%
Dominant
4%
http://quizfarm.com/run.php/QuizRunner

Flash Clocks, Hearts Clocks at WishAFriend.com

Daddy Doms by kendra

It had been a while since i'd last read the following article. Many people ask me about bdsm and why i enjoy it...not understanding my desire to be with a Dominant. It is hard to put into words exactly what it's about ... but this article does a wonderful job of explaining it.Daddy/little girl does not refer to the ages, real or pretend, of the participants. Nor does it imply closet desires. In my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy *s*) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman.He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals. Daddy Dom is a feeling, an environment that two people have created. A Daddy Dom is so named because of the qualities he possesses and the service he provides.So, what are these qualities? What is a Daddy Dom?A Daddy Dom wants to be the center of your universe. He wants to be able to provide for your every need and care. But more than that he wants to be able to shape and mold you to the image he thinks you should become. He sees in you someone who can achieve a much higher, much greater status. He believes more in you than you believe in yourself. What he wants in return is to be able to bask in his image of you, the image he has created. To achieve these goals he relies on a combination of love, respect, and discipline.His love for his little girl goes without saying. He loves her as much for who she is as for who she will become with his guidance. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his little girl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given him and takes great pains to increase it’s value. It is extremely important to him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with him.He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the little girl to really trust, she must know he means what he says. If his little girl is going to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises.If he does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If his submissive finds that she can manipulate him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength todo what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive...acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn’t matter. To him she is beautiful.Daddy Dom and sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many little girls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship.I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of male authority figure in the submissive’s life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/little girl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it’s participants crave.There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.This article may only be reprinted on private, no fee to access websites as long as this notice accompanies it and the following link is in place: http://www.subspace.cc/